The big day of love lingers around the corner, so what do you and your better half have planned? If you’ve become tired of the same old, same old, whether it’s exchanging gifts or going out for yet another dinner and a movie, get out of that rut! This year, step up your romance game and incorporate your partner’s love language into the celebration to really sweep them off their feet.
In the event that you’ve dodged every reference to the five love languages since it first became a concept in 1992, allow me to explain. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, the ways people show and experience love fall under five categories: acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and receiving gifts.
While people may enjoy every love language to some degree, most people have one primary love language that they respond to best.
If you haven’t already done so, take some quality time with your partner to each take this short quiz and discover each other’s main love language (but make sure to come back to this post, pretty please).
By learning each other’s love language, you and your partner can strengthen your relationship by learning how you can best express love and appreciation to each other. It might take some conscious effort to tweak your behavior if you and your partner have different love languages, but ultimately, it’ll be a win-win. Now let’s get those heart eyes going.
IF YOUR PARTNER LOVES
Words of affirmation
Are there lovey-dovey things you’ve been meaning to tell your partner but just haven’t gotten to? Here’s your chance. Write a poem about what you love about them—the mushier, the better. Reflect on their unique qualities and what they mean to you. Acknowledge all they’ve done for you. After all, your partner just wants to feel appreciated.
Don’t worry if you don’t consider yourself much of a writer or you’re scared of getting too cheesy; your partner will be sure to enjoy the sentiment behind your words.
If you’re feeling stuck and don’t know where to start, consider a haiku. A haiku is a three-line poem, with the first line containing five syllables, the second line containing seven syllables, and the final line containing five syllables. While many haikus center on elements of nature, you can definitely write about that natural beauty in your life.
Whether it’s handwritten or typed, present the poem in a frame so your partner can hold onto it and re-read it whenever they need those words of affirmation to lift their spirits. Also, make sure to read your poem aloud to your partner! By the end, they might just be surrounded in a puddle of happy tears.
IF YOUR PARTNER LOVES
Acts of service
Put on “Cater 2 U” by Destiny’s Child, and get in that catering mood. Prepare drinks, cook them a meal, and to top it all off, wash those darn dirty dishes. Your partner will feel pampered and appreciate you for all the effort you put in to make them feel special.
If you need some recipe inspiration, here are some deceptively easy dishes that’ll make it seem like you spent hours in the kitchen:
- Ratatouille
- 15-Minute Cheater’s Pad Thai
- Baking-Sheet Pizza with Olives and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
- Fresh Spring Rolls with Japanese Style Sauce
- Five Cheese Marinara
- Air Fryer Pork Chops
Bonus: if you know your partner has been procrastinating on some tasks that you could help out with, go ahead and tackle those tasks for them! This could mean washing the car or picking up that coat from the dry cleaners.
IF YOUR PARTNER LOVES
Quality time
The first rule of quality time is: you do not take out your phone. The second rule of quality time is: you do not take out your phone. Whether it’s sightseeing, dining at a restaurant, or trying an adventurous new activity like hydrobiking, the most important thing is that you are fully present and engaging with your partner.
Ask each other questions you haven’t asked each other before to spark new conversations and learn about each other more deeply. Get started with these questions:
- What would be your dream weekend?
- If you could swap lives with anyone for a day, who would you choose?
- If you could go back in time and change one thing about your past, what would it be?
If you two enjoy getting silly, you can ask each other “would you rather” questions. For example: would you rather be forced to dance every time you hear music or be forced to sing along to any song you hear?
In this era of countless distractions, sometimes it seems like the hardest thing to do is give someone your undivided attention—so if your partner loves that one-on-one time, what better time to give it to them?
Some of the best one-on-one date ideas
- Camping (even if it means pitching a tent in your backyard)
- Picnic
- A board game for two
- Explore your own town like tourists
- Visit a museum
IF YOUR PARTNER LOVES
Receiving gifts
This love language might seem materialistic to some, but it just means that your partner enjoys the thoughtfulness and effort you put into choosing the perfect gift for them.
Obviously, the perfect gift depends on your partner’s taste and individual interests. Think about what type of gift your partner has responded to the best in the past, and take this into consideration. Was it practical? Quirky? Sentimental? Handmade?
Don’t forget to think out of the (gift) box. A gift doesn’t necessarily have to be an item you wrap up; it could be an experience as well! A ticket to see their favorite band or a gift certificate for painting classes could be a very thoughtful gift.
A few gift ideas
Pottery Barn Teddy Bear Faux Fur Robe, $59
Who doesn’t love wrapping up in a cozy, luxurious robe, especially during winter? You can treat yourself and your partner!
Coop Home Goods Silk Sleep Set, $110
I’ve gotta include at least one Coop item in here, right? This set includes the Silk Eye Mask and Silk Pillowcase, which helps you wake up with smoother hair and skin. Anything that helps me cut down on my morning routine gets an A+ in my book.
Jo Malone Red Roses Cologne, starting at $70
Jo Malone formulates all their scents to be unisex, so you won’t have to worry about whether or not the cologne is too masculine or feminine for your partner. I recommend this scent in particular because our art director Amy keeps it on her desk, and I can’t stop complimenting her whenever she wears it.
IF YOUR PARTNER LOVES
Physical touch
Sometimes, hugs and kisses just aren’t enough! For your date, turn your home into a makeshift spa and treat your S.O. to a massage.
Youtube can teach you almost anything, so no worries if you’re not a natural-born masseuse! Just watch the videos below, and you’ll get those techniques down before you know it.
Helpful massage video tutorials
- Back Massage Tutorial
- How to Give a Stress Relieving Foot Massage
-
How to Massage Your Partner’s Upper Back and Neck
Don’t forget to create a relaxing ambiance by dimming the lights and playing music that you know your partner will love unwinding to, whether it’s jazz, lo-fi hip hop, or traditional spa music.
If you’re a single pringle
No partner, no problem! Take on a challenge and spend the day treating yourself in every love language.
Write a poem dedicated to your wonderful self, cook yourself your favorite dish, buy yourself a gift, take yourself out for a massage, and spend time doing whatever makes you happiest.
You know yourself best, so you get the unique advantage of treating yourself just the way you want to be treated. No moping about being alone—after all, you can be alone but not lonely!