Oh, love: it truly is a beautiful thing. Sadly, the bond two people have during their waking hours can be seriously, seriously tainted by bad sleep habits and issues that can be seemingly out of our control. What do you do if you’re at the end of your rope with a cover hog, a snorer, or a super light sleeper? You solve the problem as best you can.
Cramped Quarters
The Problem: The bed’s too darn small. Many of us have been there at some point: you’ve taken the step and moved in together, you’re on a budget, and a brand new mattress isn’t the highest on your list of priorities. So two full-grown adult humans are sharing a full-sized bed. If you take dimensions into account, the two of you have less space than a baby does in a crib.
The Solution: Unfortunately, the only solution is to get a bigger bed. Actually, get the biggest bed you can afford/that your space will allow. The myth that a king size bed is bad for intimacy is false. Humans—well, specifically American humans—like and need their personal space. Being able to choose when you want to cuddle versus being forced to will help your relationship in the long run.
Cover Hog
The Problem: We’ve all been a victim of the sheet thief. You wake up in the middle of the night, cold and confused, only to look over your shoulder to see your partner snuggled in their own personal cocoon of comfort.
The Solution: Get them their own blanket. This is anecdotal evidence that has worked for me, a convicted comforter felon. I have my own quilt that I use just for myself, and it keeps me from stealing all the covers. Mostly because I just roll around snuggling with my own personal grown-up version of a blankie all night.
Toss & Turners
The Problem: Hello again, remember me? Not only am I a cover hog, but I’m also a toss and turner. When I’d share a bed with my mom on road trips as a kid, she would say, “Sleeping with you is like sleeping with a wild pony.” Yeah, I don’t know either. What she meant was, I move around a lot. I toss and turn and thrash about. And, yes, it drives my boyfriend absolutely up the wall.
The Solution: Tossing and turning actually has a lot to do with underlying conditions. You could have anxiety, a poor sleep schedule, insomnia, sleep apnea, or even be overstimulated by too much screen time. One of the kindest things a toss and turner can do is try to get to the root of the problem and fix it. I find that doing 20-30 minutes of yoga and spending a little bit of time reading or listening to podcasts eases my anxiety and enables me to sleep in a more stationary position.
Overheaters
The Problem: You have a partner who not only sweats like they’re running a marathon in July, but who also acts as your own personal space heater. And, sorry to be a bummer, but sweaty sheets are nasty.
The Solution: 1. An oscillating fan. 2. Our Cool Side Pillowcase (it works, I have one) 3. Bamboo or eucalyptus-derived tencel sheets. Both materials work better than cotton or linen to absorb sweat, and they have cooling properties. My boyfriend is the king of overheaters, and the combination of these three elements have significantly helped him (and me!) out.
Snorezilla
The Problem: Need I say more? If you deal with it, you know. I won’t bore you with the details.
The Solution: Unless you or your partner’s snoring is caused by a blocked nasal passage, Breathe Right strips won’t solve your problems. I’ve found the best solution for my boyfriend is sleeping on his left side, a supportive pillow that props his head up ever so slightly (he uses our Original Pillow with about ½ the bag of extra oomph added) and our Knee Pillow between his knees. He’s a back sleeper by nature, but sleeping on his side essentially eliminates his snoring. The knee pillow makes him about a million times more comfortable, so he actually stays on his side all night.
Ultra-Lite Sleeper
The Problem: You or your partner wake up at the slightest noise, light, touch, movement, smell, or shift in atmospheric pressure, which makes for a huge lack of harmony when sharing a space as important as a bed.
The Solution: First and foremost, sleepers with sensory sensitivities need to establish a routine. Once that’s down, add an eye mask into the mix to keep from waking up if your partner goes to bed at a later time than you, or if they need to turn on a light in the middle of the night for any reason. Light sleepers should also try a sleep app like White Noise, which has a special selection of binaural soundscapes designed to relax the mind and body. It’s perfect for light sleepers because you can listen to a soothing soundscape of your preference for a full eight full hours, so you’re less likely to be disturbed during your slumber.
Do you have a sleep gripe? Leave us a comment below on what it is and how you’ve tried to fix it!